Life

To start thing off... This song is taken from the album , ' Halfway Down the Sky ' .

Splender- I Think God Can Explain

There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it in the end

The scent of vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it in the end

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get off of your back

I think God can explain,
I think God can explain
I think God can explain

(Lyrics from http://www.lyricsdownload.com/splender-i-think-god-can-explain-lyrics.html)

Holidays were meant to be happy and exciting. Its the time of the year where you relaxed, ease your mind and do some fun stuff. However, I'm not sure whether i shall enjoy the holidays. I'm dying of boredom right now. Nothing to do.

Yesterday night was awful. I should not be typing this but i want to let out my anger and frustration at the moment( no vulgarities though). Mum was in tears last night. She rarely did that unless she watches any touching movies but that night... She was really in tears when then television was switch off. She was talking to me when she suddenly told me something that makes her cry. It was painful to see a mother cry. I guess she just cann't take it any more. She needed someone to talk to and I was the only one left. (the rest of my siblings were asleep).

I felt so helpless...
Maybe I am helpless...

Sometimes i wished that everyone would be happy...
I wished that everyone would smile
And not having any problems bothering them
But i know such things would not happen

What is life?

-Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die. -Amelia Burr

-How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light-Barry Lopez

-Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living. -Bertrand Russell

(Taken from http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_life.html)

I hope that such phrases are true...

Meet-The-Parent Session...

Huhu... Had the Meet-The-Parents sessions just now. Woke up at 7am no get myself prepared for my ushering duties( Disturb my sleep only =.=). Haha. Meet up with Irfan at 7.45am and when to school togather. Reach school just on time, we wasn't fully prepared for duty and the Excos members were scolding us as we were late for our duty. Haha. Me and Irfan purposely walk to school slowly as we were lazy to do our duties.

Straighten our ties, tie our shoes, wore our blazers and we all ready to go. (Stomach growling... XD). Both of us haven't really had a proper breakfast to start the day. Most of the students called this day , ' Judgement Day', as we knew that our results are horrible. The day started out fine even though i had to stand for an hour with an empty stomach before we went for our break.

I had a tuna sandwich and iced lemon tea during the break. However, my stomach still doesn't feel so good. So i did my next duty with an upset stomach. T_T. Stood for another hour before we had our next break. Ahhh... I was so damn warm. My body was like in a suana. Imagine wearing long-sleeved shirt with a tie and a thick blazer in the morning without any wind to cool us down... =(

Met many of my friends parents by then. Had my second break. I ate only a pau. Rest for awhile with Irfan before we did our next duty. Both of us crapped the whole day... Haha. Really miss the good old days. Miss 2/5.

The day past and eventually reached 4pm... My parents came and we went to meet Mr Foo. (I knew my results earlier in the day during my break.) I just kept quiet and waited for my parents to knew my results... I was questioned upon my 'great' results...

Mid-Year Examninations Results( As shown in my report book) :
English- C5
Mother Tongue- C5
A.Maths- C6
E.Maths- A1
Biology- C5
Chemistry- C6
Physics- C5
Humanities- D7(Failed)

Wakakakaka...

Oh Holiday!!!

Haha. Have not been updating for quite awhile. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. Haha. Anyways, alot have happen this past few days. Both good and bad stuff. Little ups and little down. This is life. Life is uncertain rite? Anything can happen. Gotten my MYE results. It was horrible. As i have expected it. Decided not to tell my parents first. Let them know during the Meet-the-Parent session. Muahahaha. I shall tell you guys first.

Mid-Year Examination results:
English-C5
Mother Tongue-B4
E.Maths-A2
A.Maths-F9
Humanities-F9
Biology-C6
Chemistry-C5
Physics-C5

Haha. Nice right? 2 F9s. 4 Cs. Only 1 A. Never mind. Let this mid-year examinaition be a wake up call for all of us. We still have about 1 1/2 year more before the 'O' levels. Huhu. Lets pull up our smelly socks and turn over a new leaf. No more slacking. No more eating Oreos during lessons. Haha.

To my dear friend, don't cry lah. What is done is done. We cannot change the past but we can avoid such mistakes in our life. Even though you did badly for the MYE, it is still not too late to do better. There is always room for improvement. Cheer up!

By the way, any who wanna go to Wild Wild Wet next monday, 28th May, please msg me. ^^
I want to go and relax. I want to get wet. I want to ease my mind...

June holidays are coming. Im already dying of boredom over the weekend. Haha. Don't know if i can survive the holidays.

What have i done???

This go out to my one and only baby... IM SORRY...

Haiz... What have i done??? I didnt mean to disappoint you or make you worried.

Im a lousy guy...
I cant even do things right...

Everything i do
No matter how hard i try
Surely i will hurt someone
In one way or another

IM SORRY...Please forgive me...

Ahhh... Seriously low morale at the moment. FORGIVE ME!!! T_T

Alone?

Just when i thought things could not get any worst. Firstly, i lost a friend whom i knew since primary school. He called me a backstabber and a betrayer. I didn't know what wrong have i done until someone told me. I have been keeping this to myself as i believe that it is between me and him.

I should have told you.
I want tell you.
But i did not want to hurt you in anyway.

True friends dont leave you alone in the times when you need them the most. Im sorry if i have done something wrong. Im sorry if you feel that i have betrayed you.

I treat everyone as my friend even though i dont really know them. I feel guilty when someone holds a grudge on me.

Then, my dad is expecting so much of me. I knew that i was going to fail my A-Maths as i lost 45 marks because i didnt manage to do them. Im going to disappoint my dad because i didnt meet his expectation.

Then, my one and only sweetheart decided to go on a long hiatus for some reason. I cant chat with her through sms as her pre-paid is low. I shall be understanding. I shall be patience.

But, i feel so lonely
So alone
Nobody to talk to

1 thing about me is that, i could not bare to hurt someone, physically or emotianally. If i had, i will feel so damn guilty. If i have hurt anyone, please forgive me. I didnt mean it or sometimes i didnt notice it.

Maybe i need sometime alone too. Time to straighten out my cramped mind.

All i could do for this weekend is to practise playing the guitar and clearing out the massive amount of corrections.

Glorious Freedom

Two more tests to go! Woot!!! Wakakaka! I will have physics test tomorrow. Huhu. I had E-maths(Paper 2) and biology just now. Thought Chemistry was the the horror but E-Maths(Paper 2) was the real killer. Lost about 10+ marks because i did not manage to do them. Biology was average. If i had study earlier for biology,it would be a piece of cake. Haiz... Anyone wanna flop mid-year with me??? Wakakaka.

Anyways, 2 more papers left. Muahahaha. FREEDOM!!! NO MORE TEST!!!

FREEDOM!!!FREEDOM!!!FREEDOM!!!GLORIOUS FREEDOM!!!

Wanna go relax and chill after exam...Wah! So Syiok! Hehe! However, i must focus what is going on now. I need to focus in my studies. Even though i know im gonna flop it, i should at least try my best.

Mid-Year

Had Chemistry and Social Studies just now. Social was ok but Chemistry was the real horror. Ahaha... I didnt study the empirical formula and the last question that we had to choose either question 11 or 12. Both asked for the empirical formula. WTH!!! I lost about 10 marks for that stupid empirical question. T_T

Im gonna flop mid-year...
I have no confidence what so ever. I tried to study but nothing went inside. Im like brain dead.

Each day, i feel so tired.
Each day, i got that funny feeling in my stomach.
Each day, i have the urge to vomit but i just wont vomit.

Living is a problem because everything else dies. Haha. Im sorry mum and dad because i cant get the expected grades for this year mid-year examination. By the way, if i do very bad in mid-year, i would not be able to go online for like a month or so ( a warning from my dad). Wakakaka.

My aims for mid-year:
English-B3
Mother Tongue-C5
E-maths-A1
A-maths-A2
Humanities(Hist/SS)-B4
Biology-A2
Chemistry-B4
Physic-c5

How pathetic can my aims be?